I am part of the best support group that there is-a yahoo! group just for people who adopted, or will adopt, from Beijing SWI.  If you do not have a group for your specific region, you should form one.

Here are some of the things that we discuss:

Food.  Aidan still likes to eat spaghetti for breakfast.  Another parent told me that their kid loves Spam.  So I tried it.  Yep, he does.  One parent gives her child pancakes with ketchup  because that's what the child will eat.  Aidan eats pancakes with syrup on the side.  All of the kids love fruit and vegetables.  Aidan will still not drink milk, though he drinks yogurt.

Sleep.  Aidan wakes frequently during the night and is most comfortable when in bed with me.  He often says he has to use the bathroom, but really doesn't need to most of the time.  I've learned that the kids his age did sleep in a ward with three or four rows of a few beds per row.  The room was dark and they were not allowed to use the bathroom after bedtime, but the nannies were often watching t.v. in an adjoining room.  So they never saw sleeping adults and this kind of makes them nervous when their parents here at home have their eyes closed.  Some of the kids need some noise, some are afraid of the dark, some need nightlights.  Aidan sleeps in the dark, I leave a light on between his room and ours, and he seems fine with or without noise.  During the day he sleeps much better than during the night-probably because he knows that I am awake and watching over him.  I imagine he will continue to wake during the night for a while.

Grief.  Some of the kids have night terrors.  Some wet the bed.  Many are fine for the first fews months at home and then their behaviors change, reflecting their grief.  Aidan rarely but occasionally will cry in his sleep.  He does not wake up, but there are tears pouring down his cheeks.  It seems to be related to times when he is confused like when he got his leg caught between his mattress and the wall, and when he has had a headache and fever.  But he has also expressed some profound grief when uncomfortable in social settings.  Yesterday he went to see our doctor.  The exam was fine.  The waiting room, and then waiting in the room for the doctor, were very traumatic to him and he rolled around on the floor and sobbed.  He even knew before getting out of the car because he didn't want to get out-usually he unbuckles himself and jumps out.  So I expect to see more of this as time goes on, especially while his language skills are still developing.

 



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