Bonding & Attachment & Age 7

When we applied to adopt Eva she was two months short of her sixth birthday and her referral said that she was a shy child attached mostly to one caregiver.  What we have now is a 7-1/2 year old who is not shy or attached primarily to one person.

This age is a difficult one for adoption.  Seven year olds are all about schedules, time management, perfection, finishing what they begin, and independence.  Six is still needy and eight is more open emotionally. 

Eva is a happy girl and sweet 90% of the time.  However, she is a little manager and she is also a little manipulator.  There are times when I ask for her hand and she runs to Little Baby, Samantha (our traveling companion), or our guide and grabs their hand, then smirks at me.  Not going to happen.  The girls will make her go to me.  The guide is temporary and Eva looooves to talk, so I allow that, but I don't let her play games with me.  Have already been there, done that, with Little Baby, always playing her father against me, and she is our biological child.

So I am trying to respect the natural boundaries of a seven year old and the fact that Eva's intelligence seems to be off the richter scale (last night in the van she said to the girls, "you are a monkey" with absolutely no accent whatsoever) while still making it clear that I am the mommy.  She seems to appreciate my role most when it is bedtime and when we're doing something new like swimming-she raved to the guide about how mommy taught her to swim and as soon as we got home last night she pointed up (the pool is on the roof) and made breast stroke motions.

In summary, I guess I just can't wait to get home and start our new normal!  I just wanted to post honestly because so many people post only the honeymoon stuff and then when it isn't a honeymoon 100% of the time, those parents feel alone and inadequate.

I'll leave you with images of our precocious little girl writing and the results of her writing-she loves to write!