When we applied to adopt Eva she was two months short of her sixth birthday and her referral said that she was a shy child attached mostly to one caregiver.  What we have now is a 7-1/2 year old who is not shy or attached primarily to one person.

This age is a difficult one for adoption.  Seven year olds are all about schedules, time management, perfection, finishing what they begin, and independence.  Six is still needy and eight is more open emotionally. 

Eva is a happy girl and sweet 90% of the time.  However, she is a little manager and she is also a little manipulator.  There are times when I ask for her hand and she runs to Little Baby, Samantha (our traveling companion), or our guide and grabs their hand, then smirks at me.  Not going to happen.  The girls will make her go to me.  The guide is temporary and Eva looooves to talk, so I allow that, but I don't let her play games with me.  Have already been there, done that, with Little Baby, always playing her father against me, and she is our biological child.

So I am trying to respect the natural boundaries of a seven year old and the fact that Eva's intelligence seems to be off the richter scale (last night in the van she said to the girls, "you are a monkey" with absolutely no accent whatsoever) while still making it clear that I am the mommy.  She seems to appreciate my role most when it is bedtime and when we're doing something new like swimming-she raved to the guide about how mommy taught her to swim and as soon as we got home last night she pointed up (the pool is on the roof) and made breast stroke motions.

In summary, I guess I just can't wait to get home and start our new normal!  I just wanted to post honestly because so many people post only the honeymoon stuff and then when it isn't a honeymoon 100% of the time, those parents feel alone and inadequate.

I'll leave you with images of our precocious little girl writing and the results of her writing-she loves to write!
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Comments

09/26/2011 5:16pm

It can be tough at times Ruby! At 2, Aneyah would try to do the same thing with the other kids in the group. When I would tell her to hold my hand, she would run to one of them grab their hand and do the same smirk. Like you, I felt it was important that she knew who Mommy was.
Hang in there! You will be home soon!

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09/26/2011 8:14pm

Well you love to write too! So already something in common:)

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April Z.
09/28/2011 10:58am

Her printing is very neat! I'm impressed!!

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Jolene Walters
09/30/2011 10:55am

Still sounds like a honeymoon compared to what we went thru! (HaHa). We are having a honeymoon now though! Wu Yi was so happy to speak with Eva! Thanks so much for the call and we can't wait until you are settled home so the girls can skype!

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Annie
10/13/2011 10:46am

Ruby, I'm so so glad your guide was supportive of the need to show Eva who mommy was. Ours did the exact opposite with Rose and we are still paying for it (3 1/2 years now).
It's also very comforting for me to hear you talk about the manipulation. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one.

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