Gentle Years

Another day out of school (work) due to the ice storm, so LB an I went to the daycare center where she works when not home on maternity leave and where RB has gone for the last two years.  MB and Aidan will both be joining him in January there.  Aidan was his usual self; shy with the teachers and would not talk, but then he discovered the toys, played silently for a while, interacted a little bit with a very friendly boy there, then wanted to go home.  I think he will be fine there when the time comes.  He and RB will be in separate rooms and that will actually be good for them, too-they will see eachother enough for Aidan to be reassured but not enough for rivalry over friends, etc.

Returning to work was great for me.  Aidan did just as I expected-fine the first day, not so fine the second, and very unhappy the third.  On the fourth he stayed with G, and on the fifth he was with me since we lost power and I didn't work.

Here are some random photos from our week:

Aidan decides that he loves turkey, after all.  He came out into the kitchen, sniffed it, said yum-yum and rubbed his belly, then spent a good twenty minutes with the baster.  He also decided that he loves cranberry sauce.

Entertaining in the dark-Aidan loves to operate the camera-forgive our grimy appearance (no showers or baths until the electricity came back on)

We went shopping both to get it done and also to get warm.  Here are the boys, both smiling at the same time, with Santa Claus.

Getting into the Christmas spirit now that the lights are back on.  LB was playing carols in the background (driving me crazy-I can either listen to music or have conversations, but not do both at the same time).  Aidan was trying to be ever so helpful with his first tree.  Mangus was trying to check everything out and also get out of the way (not too successful there).  But we finally got the thing up and lit.

Today Aidan got two shots-one in each arm simultaneously-a chicken pox vaccine and a flu shot.  He has had the flu shot twice before but either they don't immunize against chicken pox in China or he just wasn't old enough to get the vaccine before coming home to America.

I was afraid he would be scared again when he saw the doctor's office but he was fine.  He got a little scared and tense just before the shots went in (there was a nurse on each side, he was on my lap, and another nurse was in front of him, holding his hands with me and talking to him) but then he was fine.  Of course, he enjoyed having "stickers" to put over each shot wound.

We then went back later in the day for LB to see the doctor and then he was your typical four year old-running around the place like he grew up there, being silly, and babbling away.

BTW-Yesterday he began calling me Mommy!  He has referred to me as Mommy and he has actually called G Daddy for a while, but calling me Mommy to my face is new.  I think he's trying to wear it out already.

Today was the second big test for Aidan of family get-togethers.  The first was my great niece's birthday party and he made it about 40 minutes.  He had no choice but to stay longer at PB's house for Thanksgiving, but he alternated between having fun playing and hanging his head and wanting to leave.  Of course, he ate very little-a couple of spoonfuls of vegetables and two more of squash.  So once we got home LB made a big bowl of Ramen noodles for him with garlic and butter.

Tomorrow he could be in love with turkey; that's just how it is sometimes.  In this photo, below, he is licking the bowl after helping me make chocolate chip cookies.  He loved the dough but refused to eat the cookies (again).  Then the next day when I packed some for tot time and also packed Nilla wafers for him, he wanted the homemade cookies.  He even asked for more when we got home.

I am part of the best support group that there is-a yahoo! group just for people who adopted, or will adopt, from Beijing SWI.  If you do not have a group for your specific region, you should form one.

Here are some of the things that we discuss:

Food.  Aidan still likes to eat spaghetti for breakfast.  Another parent told me that their kid loves Spam.  So I tried it.  Yep, he does.  One parent gives her child pancakes with ketchup  because that's what the child will eat.  Aidan eats pancakes with syrup on the side.  All of the kids love fruit and vegetables.  Aidan will still not drink milk, though he drinks yogurt.

Sleep.  Aidan wakes frequently during the night and is most comfortable when in bed with me.  He often says he has to use the bathroom, but really doesn't need to most of the time.  I've learned that the kids his age did sleep in a ward with three or four rows of a few beds per row.  The room was dark and they were not allowed to use the bathroom after bedtime, but the nannies were often watching t.v. in an adjoining room.  So they never saw sleeping adults and this kind of makes them nervous when their parents here at home have their eyes closed.  Some of the kids need some noise, some are afraid of the dark, some need nightlights.  Aidan sleeps in the dark, I leave a light on between his room and ours, and he seems fine with or without noise.  During the day he sleeps much better than during the night-probably because he knows that I am awake and watching over him.  I imagine he will continue to wake during the night for a while.

Grief.  Some of the kids have night terrors.  Some wet the bed.  Many are fine for the first fews months at home and then their behaviors change, reflecting their grief.  Aidan rarely but occasionally will cry in his sleep.  He does not wake up, but there are tears pouring down his cheeks.  It seems to be related to times when he is confused like when he got his leg caught between his mattress and the wall, and when he has had a headache and fever.  But he has also expressed some profound grief when uncomfortable in social settings.  Yesterday he went to see our doctor.  The exam was fine.  The waiting room, and then waiting in the room for the doctor, were very traumatic to him and he rolled around on the floor and sobbed.  He even knew before getting out of the car because he didn't want to get out-usually he unbuckles himself and jumps out.  So I expect to see more of this as time goes on, especially while his language skills are still developing.